West, 20, grew up in Pleasanton, Calif. She was a star volleyball player at Foothill High School and loved singing at open mic nights. Your email address will not be published. The four-second fall from the Golden Gate Bridge sends a person plunging . Im wondering if youve seen the post If Only: Self-Blame After a Loved Ones Suicide. We are going to keep looking.. Thats why I searched for answers and I found this site. Any information could help so if you know anyone that was in that area around that time, please use contact information provided below. They would split the profits from the film 50/50. The persons reasons for dying may begin to fade. Anyone in the Bay Area with any information regarding her disappearancecan contact Sgt. It is true that. . He might also have refused to remove the gun from the home, too. At 10 o'clock in the morning, Ken. My reason to live is so I dont hurt people who care but what if you have no one who cares there was a time I had no one it was only my stupidity that got the hospital aware of my attempt. Saving Lives at the Golden Gate Bridge. He and his wife lived in Tracy and had an adorable . PART OF AUDACY NEWS. So when crazy people did crazy things in public places, excited crowds would gather. Those two have shown some effectiveness at reducing suicidal ideation and behavior. Your battle won matters. Bonnie. Precious few people survive such a fall; the water about 200 feet below acts the same as concrete when a person lands on it at high speed. 1998 - 2023 Nexstar Media Inc. | All Rights Reserved. As a person who has tried countless times to end my life, even shooting myself in the head, we are stuck living with yet another feeling of failure when we fail and continue suffering. For Kevin Hines, the will to live kicked in immediately. "Syd," as she liked to be called, was initially thought to have last been seen or heard from early the morning of September 30 in the Crissy Field area. I fantasize a lot about suicide. There is only a 4ft safety rail separating the sidewalk from the void, and 98% of suicide attempts there have succeeded. I know that this surprises many people. This research, though 35 years old, still holds true. They are doing a med wash and released me with no meds, and actually said if I come back, I will be admitted long term. As the deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain draw attention to the public health crisis of depression and mental illness, Megyn Kelly TODAY welcomes Kevi. He completed the challenge and won himself a taxi ride to New York. What happens is if you dont kill yourself you spend the rest of your life being told you didnt mean it. I understand completely. My brother did the same in 2002. ive suffered depression for Years, 2 suicide attempts in 2008. Camera footage has been reviewed and interviews have been conducted among West's friends and acquaintances, but there are no leads. She attempted suicide three times and was in mental hospitals, etc. Email: joshua.bote@sfgate.com and Signal: 707-742-3756, Six months after student's disappearance in San Francisco, family continues search, Horoscope for Saturday, 3/04/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Snowboarder dies at Tahoe ski resort following historic blizzard, West I-80 closed near Tahoe due to snow and 'multiple spinouts', Wife of Jeffrey Vandergrift issues somber update, Even Salesforces tower HQ isnt safe from office cuts, Inside Harry and Meghans favorite In-N-Out, Horoscope for Friday, 3/03/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Massive Lake Tahoe waterfront compound slashes price by $20M, This beloved East Bay hybrid cafe and bike shop is closing, Ja Morant says he'll get help after video shows apparent gun. For example, upon hearing me take total responsibility for the failure of my first marriage a gifted woman who is a counselor and pastor said, I typically find that both parties share responsibility equally. Wests parents confirmed in a new video released late Thursday she was last seen shortly before 7 a.m. on the Golden Gate Bridge. Taking into account suicides that might have been missed by researchers, Dr. Seiden stated that 90% of people who tried to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge did not go on to die by suicide. Precious few people survive such a fall; the water about 200 feet below acts the same as concrete when a person lands on it at high speed. For me, the will to live kicked in. Copyright 2023 Nexstar Media Inc. All rights reserved. Dear Anthony, [feb.6.2019 @9.26am]. Suicide needs to be addressed from many angles, of which means restriction is only one. Take a trip somewhere I mean what do you have to lose, on your journey to wherever you may see life worth living make yourself do something. What, Im supposed to carry on with the HOPE that things MIGHT get better. She was last seen September 30, 2020, from the San Francisco area near the Golden Gate Bridge specifically around Crissy field. Upon its completion in 1937, it was the tallest and longest suspension bridge in the world. So it is with anything else, including suicidal thoughts. Wests parents said they have now hired a private investigator who is working with the San Francisco Police Department and Orange County (North Carolina) Sheriffs Department. If all else fails do something drastic. Dont believe anyone who tells you differently. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. West, 19, disappeared on a foggy San Francisco morning, around 6:45 a.m. to 7 a.m. Wednesday, Sept. 30 on the Golden Gate Bridge. A $25,000 reward is being offered for anyone who has information that leads to her return. Its not always a change of mind when deciding not to jump its fear of failure, Hi Londa, For those who are thinking about suicide, I know what happens after youre gone isnt part of the thought process, but believe me, you might end your pain, but the trajectory of pain caused to others is also insurmountable. You might think that, once freed from the authority figures who prevented their suicide on the bridge, they still went on to by suicide. Maybe some of the posts on this site could be helpful to him? When I will be talking to him, also sure helps me to see I am suicide attempt survivor. Here Are My Reasons. Edit: FAQs https://findsydneywest.com/faq, https://www.pollyklaas.org/missing-children/sydney-west/, https://pleasantonweekly.com/news/2021/09/30/what-a-week-find-sydney-west, https://www.kron4.com/news/bay-area/searching-for-sydney-san-francisco-police-still-asking-for-publics-help/?fbclid=IwAR2uVE3anCjr5EvpUerTiD6JZxCAENR83-xIRz3TRzAfRuGckyYFzRqnobM, https://storiesoftheunsolved.com/2020/11/27/the-disappearance-of-sydney-west/. I tried to commit suicide when I was 18. When I arrived at the #FindSydneyWest vigil in Pleasanton, I said whoever is singing has a beautiful voice. Dialectical behavior therapy? About his dads suicide, your article helping me a lot to help. West had just gone off to college to her dream school, University of California Berkeley. Such an assumption would be wrong. User account menu. . My sons father committed suicide and in the moments he was alive after shooting himself he kept saying sorry I shouldnt have never done this over and over. Hi Joan. Im sorry to hear about all the pain youve been through. He says he fully expected to speak with her the next day and became very worried when she didnt return multiple calls from him. The night before she disappeared (Sept. 29) she and her father Jay West had a lengthy phone conversation according to her family. I am not sure anybody really wants to die but I know many people, including myself, who are just sick and tired of living and want it to be over. Trackback URL First published on January 25, 2021 / 11:03 AM. As I entered Oklahoa, something I like to think it was my Higher Powerinspired me to call my brother in Illinois and I ended up going in and out of treatment centers until I finally realized that Im an alcoholic and that there was hope for me. This is a terribly hard process, and I hope that youre able to get help and support from others. I live with a higher purpose now, but prior to my children I went through hell and constantly entertained the thought of killing myself. Public File for KBCW-TV / KBCW 44 Cable 12. You note that installation of a suicide barrier at the Bloor Viaduct in Toronto merely caused people to go to other locations in Toronto to die by suicide. And now I have the means to do it. More women attempt suicide but more men complete it because men use more lethal methods. She is an amazing musician. I warned her of the possible dangers of the physical response to discontinuance, not thinking of her emotional well being. All 29 people who survived their suicide attempts off San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge have said they regretted their decision as soon as they jumped. Video footage from the bridge has been carefully reviewed by investigators but due to foggy and smoky conditions camera views where obstructed making it impossible to tell her exact location on the bridge. Since Sept. 30, there has been no activity on her phone or credit cards. Found it was in part due to hormone imbalance along with sugar imbalances, throw in that its winter along with little sleep, emotional bombs going off and I had the perfect storm. West, 19, disappeared on a foggy San Francisco morning, around 6:45 a.m. to 7 a.m. Wednesday, Sept. 30 on the Golden Gate Bridge. You can learn more about me here. West vanished Sept. 30 in San Francisco. Ive been hospitalized 4 times in the past 6 weeks, after my 9th suicide attempt. Her Disappearance: Sydney West was a 19-year-old freshman at U.C. There were probably signs that you had a drinking problem from the very beginning. It was a startling revelation. He once tried to jump off the Aloha Tower in Honolulu only to be thwarted at the last minute by police. Im sorry to hear of your loss She was, for a period of time, carrying a black backpack that she frequently used to get around town. True or false is a perception that changes from person to person. Someone mustve seen something nothing is being ruled out. Her family has stated that she enjoyed the area around the Golden Gate Bridge, and it was not unlike her to take pictures and go for a walk or run. She took a ride-share service. Now I wonder whether I also pressed reset on my brain. I agree with you completely, Anonymous. I just read your post. West took a rideshare service to the Golden Gate Bridge; the driver cooperated with San Francisco police and is not believed to be a suspect. Additionally, Hines takes medication and . She had moved in with friends in San Francisco, where she was living when she disappeared. Life really sucked and so did I. I blamed myself for everything that was wrong and then some. The Golden Gate net project is like putting a bandaid on an ulcer. Also, on the Resources page, I list a number of websites and other resources for people who have lost someone to suicide. Thanks again. Her mother Kimberly West has said to a journalist The bridge was quite busy (that day). I know someone who hanged themself 18 months ago after a buildup of personal problems and much alcohol that night, but rescue services were called and saved him. Getting through them is the way to make your life your own again.. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. You definitely are not alone, and it does often feel good to be honest about suicidal thoughts to speak what many people consider to be the unspeakable. I wish you all the very best and I pray you each find a way to manage and control the thoughts of suicide. Had medical intervention on the second. I just got out two days ago. If you want to talk with someone immediately by phone, text, or chat, please check out the Resources page. Youve been through an enormous amount. I am sure your mum will be watching over you, so sad that she caused you so much pain, please seek help, you are precious, with love xxx. The entire bridge in covered with CCTV cameras monitored 24/7, and footage is retained for 6 months as it is federal land and monitored by Homeland Security. I wanted to talk with others in the same situation but I could understand how that may not be in the best interest of either party. Police do not necessarily believe there was foul play involved, according to an interview Rueca had with KRON4. She talked to herfather on the phone the day before shewent missing. But, as you said, the problem is also bigger than a question of means. So in a couple days with no vehicle no money and no job, Im just supposed to trudge on, because life is precious or whatever other placating device people Banty about? I knew then that I would never try it again. The main principle to this is very simple Taking energy and harnessing it for the good and nothing can go wrong.. I am sure your little self felt am I not lovable enough but it was never about you, your mum was in pain and obviously thought you would be better off without her, but it is not a reflection on you, hard to accept as children are programmed to feel the centre of the world. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. The Golden Gate Bridge, which first opened in May 1937, was the most popular suicide site in the world during the documentary's filming, with approximately 1,200 deaths by 2003. But its possible theres not more you could have done. Its agonizing to lose someone you love to suicide, and you describe that agony very powerfully. It is important to note that there has been no activity on her phone, bank accounts, or social media accounts since Sept. 30. Rhodes had been seeking fame all his life, and successfully became one of Hollywoods first stuntmen, appearing in movies such as "Under Arizona Skies" and "Duel in the Sun," in which he performed a cliff jump. Its death toll has since been surpassed only by the Nanjing Yangtze River Bridge in China.. I did find this website and it has so much information that I needed to read. How could I have been so stupid? Which will turn into the vicious cycle of no job= no money, and no money = no job. A missing person case has also been launched in Orange County, North Carolina, where West's family lives. BERKELEY, CA The parents of Sydney "Syd" West, a missing person who was previously a University of California, Berkeley student, have divulged new details in her case and are asking anyone with information to come forward. I will just speak it: Their lies destroyed me and there is no one on earth greater than you and those you love and want to protect. He has visited mental hospitals several times since his jump. It seems to be an if all else fails, Ill just kill myself attempt to cope that gives me short-term comfort but itlike alcoholonly provides temporary relief and Im still left with my limited ability to cope with life. I cant tell you how much of what you write touches me in some way. Someone may have seen something -- any piece of information could help lead us to Sydney," parents Kimberly and Jay West said in a joint statement. I just need time to tidy up affairs, belongings, finances, assemble the plan. A good place to start is the Facebook group Live Through This. But what if you dont want help? The sad thing is that, as I say in my letter, some of what your friend thinks and believes may actually be true, but his mind is probably also shutting him out of other truths that could balance out his pain. She was said to be very close with her family. I cant get beyond the pain. He published the results in an article titled Where Are They Now? I died that day too. I had my suicidal thoughts since I was a child I lost my mum when I was 9 years old she took her own life and even now after my attempt I still dont know how to feel about what happened to her and what I have done to my self but I know I will have to find a way to live with the impact of my attempt and hopefully find a way to some sort of happiness, Please seek help, therapy to work through your trauma, it must be so hard to have lost your mum in this way and your nine year old self could only feel abandoned, not enough to have stopped her. But what about people like me? She vanished without a trace from San Francisco, California, near the Golden Gate Bridge, a popular tourist spot for many. Come home.. Parenthood does not protect everyone, though. We cannot overlook that 10% of people who survive a suicide attempt do go on to die by suicide. Its complicated, Bay Area city cracks top 10 best for sleep: US News, JV talked about health struggles before disappearance, Martinez residents warned not to eat food grown in, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Log In Sign Up. He had a gun in the house that he never used, was trying to sell, I didnt even think of it during this time. I worry almost everyday that Ill maim myself again and not die. Copyright 2013 Stacey Freedenthal, PhD, LCSW, All Rights Reserved. [This comment was edited to abide by the Comments Policy. What % of those people were financially ruined (ie dead broke) with no job or no home? Privacy Policy. God Bless You. There is a strength within you. Being a freshman and isolated on campus due to the COVID pandemic was hard for West, her family said. I am now 49, and I fantasize about suicide knowing I will never actually do it but wishing it was an option. YEAH? "Folks that have seen anything that resembles Sydney, we really want to collect information.".
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