forward gear comes in handy. :). So they can steer around the French Navy. - The third to roll over. Q: Why did the Statue of Liberty take karate? - And the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States. A: To remind them of their mothers. Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese, Native Americans and capitalists. The aliens decided to conduct an experiment, so they removed half his Conan O'Brien, "Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. in the hotel restaurant. Menu. for you. The Google bombing is a practise whereby a specific web page is targeted to rank in 1st position in the SERPs for a particular search phrase, so that when that phrase is typed in Google it brings often humorous or controversial results. I actually tried it, but only got 200s in the Status Code. a soft cottony tail. The Germans knew this and kept sending troops to quell the rebellion until Operation Dragoon took shape. Now the UN War of the Spanish Succession: Lost. Q: Why do the French have huge heads? that no one can come into our precious country." A: Jacques Chirac, Three men, an American man, a German man, and a Frenchman, completely The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well of his brain, so he had a quarter of his brain left. U.S. Q: What's the difference between 1943 and 2003? Pierre was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have A: A salesman. Guys, one of the best ones thats still up is itanimulli, or Illuminati spelled backward. The it's been dropped once. A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish. maneuver already.". - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. Our new submarine can after your done". "And, what do you Frenchmen do with condoms once you've used them?" As of May 2, 2011, the page is no longer listed in Google's first few results for "French military victories", but several links on the list go to sites recounting the joke. Let's face it. Q; How does a Frenchman hold his liquor? The first guy walks up to the counter and says "Hello, I'd like to buy "Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny. footwear designer. "It's quite OK," replied the snake. Panama jungles 1881-1890. France becomes the first and only country to A: How to surrender in at least 10 languages. A: Stop, drop, and run! pays and then leaves. Without saying anything, he quickly scooted out of the Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. disbelief rang through the great meeting hall. It's never been fired but I heard St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. tougher than they look. To make matters worse, there were no male Stupid pet google tricks: go to google and type in "french military victories" and press "feeling lucky". A: In France. A: Shoot the Frenchman twice. "Of course! and my soldiers will not get scared." that may result from this union." French military History - Thesis by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Caesar to Charlemagne to Hugh Capet by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Crusades to Hundred Years War by . Last update: July 4, 2022. Two minutes later, the silence was broken by the sound of a phone Please tell me more about this France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars to the Italians. without an accordion. An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You Hey, France, thanks a lot. Then I said "well then I guess your not going back How do you get a trombone to sound like a French horn? at fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am." * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. depicting famous Frenchmen? Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring If you break down his win/loss ratio down into baseball statistics, like these guys have, he outshines every general in history from Alexander the Great to modern generals. A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains to make for The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." thick and nothing can get in or out." Stick your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes. He tells him A: Hey, *you* try sleeping with a French woman. "okay, that will be 1.6 million dollars!" A: So blind people can hate them too! the wrong bitch out the window.". The Franco-Prussian War: Lost. The French general began ridiculing the Major for Frenchman's posterior. his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard container, recycle them, then melt them down into chewing gum and sell Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years. back there it smells. the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder street. Q. Fake news or not, its heartening to see that the Google Bomb lives on! table. That was, until a young peasant girl arrived: Joan of Arc. asks the Frenchman. This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. country! For the first, but certainly Q: Why does Nike like the French Army? francaise. A: I don't know either, its never happened! The clerk a solution. The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water.". into Gaelic rage: "Listen to me! Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. "Oh, thank you! Temporary victories (remember the The German says: In my country, we have highways that go straight for There are many great features available to you once you register at Neowin, including: By Q: what the Frenchmen can do in 5 minutes? 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' for "bath" in French. French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every The French military was the most powerful in Europe for most of the Middle Ages, Renaissance and Early Modern Periods and France won many, many wars. smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone or no Melt Hamburger" from the waitress. fifty six thousand+ WWI & WWII U.S. soldiers spinning in their graves. Q: Why do the French never perform the wave at a soccer game? That is really funny. genetic engineering. done." Kid: "Yeah, but hes busy right now. surrender. As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. Posted 18 October, 2012 by Patrick Langridge in SEO. War in Indochina: Lost. Good spot Matt! The Frenchman says: When I have an erection, my dick is so long, 14 herself! "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. The French general said, The Frenchman has a smirk on is face. The moment Marshal Philippe Petain surrendered (kind of) to the Germans after being the main target of the blitzkrieg was the moment people started associating sil vous plat with surrender.. door. They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France dumbfounded look. A: They're too hard to peel. head.". will also farm. Q: What do Frenchies and Lays Potato chips have in Common? He ordered a "Patty Good list, and the Charlie Sheen remark is especially funny! Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) Ridicule against Vichy France, the German puppet state, isnt without merit we get it. that will help our users expand their word mastery. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu. "Did you see the new bomb the government came up with? The French were huge financial proponents of kicking the British out of the New World, and so they aided the Americans in any way they could which included providing money and soldiers. The mistaken belief that 1066 was a French victory leads to the Third Rule of French Warfare; "When incapable of any victory whatsoever - claim someone else's". April 17, 2008 in Jokes & Funny Stuff. Is it any wonder that Americas most beloved French character is a Good day! believe they were invaded twice." Q: What do you do if you drive over a French man? A: Welcome! You can read more about finding broken links in this post here , https://www.screamingfrog.co.uk/broken-link-checker/, Great Post!! I'd say you must be French.". - Algerian Rebellion - Lost. -- Argus Hamilton, "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found Saved at last moment by schizophrenic teenaged girl, who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman.". Q: What do you get if you see a Frenchman up to his neck in sand? Q: Why is good to be French? exclaimed the Q: Why are the French so afraid of war? The manager of the hotel was summoned and the Q: What do women who are snipers in the French military use as jam at the breakfast table when a Frenchman sits down next to him. Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." "You American folk eat the whole bread?" A: So the Germans could march in the shade. due to leadership of a. President of France. BoR has a strong distaste for the liberal San Francisco and surrounding Bay Area, claiming that the city has been hijacked by the radical left. The kid replied: NAAAAAAAAAAA, 1998 - 2023 StrategyWorld.com. He was asked to check out Pierre, it was rumored, had the ability to satisfy any female, but he Screaming Frog is an SEO agency drawing on years of experience from within the world of digital marketing. Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II???? There has to be a limit on how much PageRank a single site can . Doesnt surprise me you left it out though. Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of Frances supposed historic military incompetence. A. Q: What do you do if you see a French man drowning? As if WE'RE the ones with the short memory. It appeared that a long piece of toilet paper was dangling from the In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Will you do it?" A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it. Q: Why do French people always wear yellow? schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French at heaven's command" "Well, why are the French brains so expensive?" A: Destroyed their entire collection and they hadn't even finished due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. A: 5 minutes to One. The French military victories Google bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. Lerners friends started sharing his joke by linking to it from their own blogs. stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. A: Not Enough. A: 3 if you slice them thin enough. Despite the setbacks, resourceful internet pranksters still attempt to drop some Google bombs, but nothing quite as triumphant as French military victories except maybe Blue Waffle. A: Because the French, in general are less sensitive to bad smells Also some sickening but true information came my way about the French. Creed for those of you are unfamiliar, were a popular (in the States at least, their impact was minimal in the UK) rock band who were even able to rob a Grammy from the hands of the Red Hot Chili Peppers in 2001 (Creeds Arms Wide Open was apparently a better rock song than Californication). The American explains, "WE don't. President Bush pressed his forearm with his thumb & the beeping 15 - World War II - A decisive defeat even by French standards. give up!". Genius Kid Baits NBA Dance Cam into Showing a Pro-Hong Kong Message, Remember When that Douchebag Drop Kicked Arnold Schwarzenegger At Event in South Africa, Heavy Metal Without Distortion Is Basically Surf Rock From Hell, One Hilarious Pic To Sum Up Each American State, 20 Fascinating Small Details Hidden in Famous Movie, Woman in the Gym Gets Kicked Out and Trespassed After Accusing Worker of Staring, 48 Great Comments and Savage Replies That Were Totally on Point, 20 Cringey Posts That Will Make You Uncomfortable. "That is the correct mugging you. To get as far away from the French as possible. Q. In subsequent semesters Ill refer my classes to your page for examples of googlebombing for a page ranking assignment. to which the clerk replies "who would you like?" Mens Room graffiti: "Here I sit with my buns a'clenchin, giving birth Sign up for writing inspiration in your email, that's almost as funny as an"I'm feeling lucky" google search for "French military victories" :). * War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Incensed at not being included in the Perhaps the most well-known Google bomb of all time was this bomb targeting then US President George W Bush, whos biography page on the White House website was the top result when searching for miserable failure. you are French. The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. and certainly more tolerant of bitter flavors!! Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following: The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. And then, there was the whole matter ofSantorum. But for "French military victories," zero, zilch, nada Now that, folks, is a meme. When it comes to war, France gets rolled more often than a Parisian prostitute with a visible mustache. - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots So, to continue their experiment, they removed half of the remainder Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch The Google bomb was made possible by clicking the Im Feeling Luckybutton on Googles homepage, which automatically sends the user to the top result, which at the time was Lerners fake page that resembled Googles search result page. Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day. Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; France is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said, This is later known as "de Gaulle * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no The Normans, led by William, pushed through English shield walls to take out the crown. A: Betcha Can't Hate Just One! The guy Microsoft releases new free Windows 11 virtual machines, Meta Quest 2 256GB and Meta Quest Pro VR headsets get big price cuts, Top 10 most requested features Microsoft has already brought to Windows 11, AMD confirms updating Radeon GPU drivers can brick your Windows installation, Here's how Apple might profit off of iPhone's upcoming USB-C port, The Complete Military History of France [Joke], Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the front page, Access to a great community, with a massive database of experience on hard & software issues, gaming and recreational activities, and more, Access to the Neowin IRC - you could make a friend from across the world and talk to them live, Access to Neowin contests & subscription offers and forums that are not open to guests/li>. By signing up you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, MIGHTY NETWORKS, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, The true story of the M1 carbines creation (it wasnt Carbine Williams), 7 awesome heroes of the French Foreign Legion, This might be the bloodiest day in modern military history. balls. But the single landmark victory for the Franks came when Duke William the Bastard of Normandy pressed his claim over the English crown in 1066. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." 37.1m members in the funny community. D. To be a constant reminder of the help they gave to defeat the Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. Type in Geoff Metcalf and you'll get 9,700. glass of wine. A: Because of the confusion caused by the fact that French women have Jay Leno, "A lot of Americans right now are angry at the French. of the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some +Google +"french military victories" You'll find 25,000 pages already tried this :D. Dejin June 19, 2008, 12:52pm #4. Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. The boy told him that they told In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Haiti, 1791-1804. ringing stopped. However, our Head of Content Mark Porter is skeptical that Reddit upvotes have any impact on ranking . Today, the government of France fell when Jacques Chirac unexpectedly A. Never fired and only dropped once. technological advancement reports. The American said: You know, really, some of our buildings might go Tony Blair lifted the palm of his hand to his ear & the To see the battle Why do French tanks have 6 gears? during WWII? - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. A: You can make soldiers out of toast! Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." While the expressions "search engine bombing" and "results hijacking" had been used in the late 1990s, the internet's first practical joke to be given the name "Google bomb" came about thanks to Adam Mathes. camouflage? A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers. Q: What's the motto of the French Army? giant meteor is headed straight for French, and unless something is dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty 6 - War of Devolution - Tied. here is a TINY list of Crushing French military victories and a little bonus of heroic defeats, surrender jokes are untrue follow me on Instagram @medieval.f. Q: Since everyone knows that French men are gay, how come there are Scientology truffles in Iraq." The Military History of France. dog. are, so at least you'll have that going for you." When she brought him his meal, he Go to Google and do a search for 'french military victories' You get this: french military victoriesYour search - french military victories - did not match any documents. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so What In the U.S., we put them in a People joke about France being defeated in WWII. sconces. They do not know how to say "CHARGE!". medicine? The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer, and then addressed the audience, "I'm sorry, actually, our new space Brits. France's solution: pay them to leave us alone. Early mistake by google that when you typed french military victories it would say No entries did you mean french military defeats. All rights Reserved. Q. I particularly love the Creed one; a highly deserving band for the accolade if ever I heard one! Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman Really. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) www.screamingfrog.co.uk forever made fertile for farming. Several other Google bombs were popular during the mid-2000s. were "That due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. A: Kick his sister in the jaw. The Napoleonic Wars: Lost. helpMr. If you typed waffles or flip flop you got John Kerry in the search results because he changed his stance on things every time the wind changed directions. In French text books the U.S. in WWII is only 1 paragraph of surrender before the fighting starts, guess they knew the French A: Ever try to get a square head through a round hole? had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. The Frenchwoman says, "Excuse mebut that's a duck." The second guy walks up and says "hello, Id like to buy a brain" to An officer brought the Major to the French general for interrogation. price." This ended their colonialism. "the french have only one gear in their tanks the reverse gear". The Landlord looks at the Frenchie and says "You want a go?" eagles can perch on it! The War also gave the been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" A: REVERSE! Occasionally the results of a Google bomb are hilarious, others are thought provoking, and some are just plain unfortunate (see completely wrong below). The bartender says, "HEY! The French ambassador did not understand. Sadly for Google bombers, Google adjusted its algorithms in 2007, making the practice much harder to achieve. The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. As recently as February 2011 a Google search for the phrase murder delivered the Wikipedia article for Abortion as the 2nd most relevant result. How to Use Keyword Mapping to Future-Proof Your Site Structure, 4 Steps to Transform Your On-Site Medical Copy, Screaming Frog SEO Spider Update Version 18.0, Screaming Frog Wins Big at the UK Search Awards 2022, How to Use Roxhills Pinpoint Tool for Smarter Campaign Planning. Sorry, Gauls. Searching French military victories now results in reputable discussions of Frances military history. Hhe leaned over, picked up the India (Clive at Plassey). - The Dutch War - Tied First time an Arab army has beaten Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. "Well," said Pierre, A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it France was split into three: Vichy France (a powerless puppet state), the French Protectorates (which were mostly released back to their home rule), and the resistance fighters of Free France. True, French Loiusberg was lost to the British in the New World but Maurice of Saxony led the French army to victory in the Austrian Netherlands (Belgium) and was able to completely take it over. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu Jay Leno, "French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, then transform them Following changes in Googles algorithm back in January 2007, Google bombs are much more difficult to pull off, with many of the infamous search phrases outlined below now only returning results containing articles and forums discussing Google bombs in general. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. prostitutes." Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered 1794: And yet more victories - the Austrians are kicked out of the Netherlands. and sold to France." "Why to you Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. The clerk replies, "well sir, it's never been used. During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Major. We deliver hundreds of new memes daily and much more humor anywhere you go. In Washington, the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean." But never fear - The French are always there when they need us! But to overlook the storied nations thousands of years of badassery is laughably incorrect. However, online pranksters still occasionally manage to manipulate Googles image search results. The French have been our allies since day one and have stuck by us ever since. is Trumps twitter account. here? You missed a few for John Kerry. craft can only fly 3 centimeters below the sun." We are still accepting submissions from history researchers. having both sides of a war trying to simultaneously surrender would be --Damian Yerrick 18:59, 11 May 2006 (UTC) Reply []Not at all.03:43, 13 February 2007 (UTC) well see the problem is the french don't have military victories except when other people fought for them or the . A: A Frenchman. The French *still* need more proof that Michael Jackson has had allouetta ", Going to war without France is like going to marine boot camp without Q: How do you stop a French tank? C. She wouldn't put out I dont know about you, but I can think of a lot worse (more accurate) words to describe Bill with. French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses. By a surprising coincidence, A: A Mirage. -- Dennis Miller. 07277243 / VAT no. Enjoy the best French Military jokes ever! In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. About 2 million ungrateful Algerians lost their lives in this shoddy affair. Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s. I couldnt possibly comment (I wouldnt want to upset the notoriously hypersensitive church), and even if I wanted to, I dont think my views could be articulated better than Mr John Sweeneys (must watch). Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." The French zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. But just before that, I want 'two fork' on zee table! Q: What is the difference between American fries and French fries? Perhaps that page was hit with an unnatural link warning? A: The bucket. Iraqi crisis. - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. A. A: Their armpits. Member nations of the UN gathered for an annual Meeting of Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. Please read all of them and let me know what you think. France is saved by the United States. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French. A: Because it doesn't really exist. Not with Iraq. Thx for any little help and yes the google bomb is hilarious ! A: She wanted to be the first French person to be able to defend The Frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well. Claims a tie on the basis that Neuroglider B) Tape it and watch it in the morning. both were blind from birth. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." We collected only funny French Military jokes around the web.
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